Being a compulsive gambler can harm your health and relationships, and leave you in serious debt.
- Wife Has Gambling Problem And Needs Money
- I Think My Wife Has A Gambling Problem
- Wife Has A Gambling Problem
- Wife Has Gambling Problem
Kentucky Problem Gambling Resources in Kentucky. If gambling is causing a problem in your life we encourage you to ask questions, gather information and conduct research on the type of help that is most appropriate for your situation. According to the relationship counselling charity Relate, there are several danger signs of a gambling problem to look out for. Some of them seem to match up with what you've been witnessing lately. They include: Spending a lot of time away from the house and being vague or secretive about it.
If you have a problem with gambling and you'd like to stop, support and treatment is available.
Are you a problem gambler?
Try this questionnaire:
- Do you bet more than you can afford to lose?
- Do you need to gamble with larger amounts of money to get the same feeling?
- Have you tried to win back money you have lost (chasing losses)?
- Have you borrowed money or sold anything to get money to gamble?
- Have you wondered whether you have a problem with gambling?
- Has your gambling caused you any health problems, including feelings of stress or anxiety?
- Have other people criticised your betting or told you that you had a gambling problem (regardless of whether or not you thought it was true)?
- Has your gambling caused any financial problems for you or your household?
- Have you ever felt guilty about the way you gamble or what happens when you gamble?
Score 0 for each time you answer 'never'
Score 1 for each time you answer 'sometimes'
Score 2 for each time you answer 'most of the time'
Score 3 for each time you answer 'almost always'
If your total score is 8 or higher, you may be a problem gambler.
Help for problem gamblers
There's evidence that gambling can be successfully treated in the same way as other addictions. Cognitive behavioural therapy usually has the best results.
Treatment and support groups are available for people who want to stop gambling:
GamCareGamCare offers free information, support and counselling for problem gamblers in the UK.
It runs the National Gambling Helpline (0808 8020 133) and also offers face-to-face counselling.
National Problem Gambling Clinic If you live in England or Wales, are aged 13 or over and have complex problems related to gambling, you can refer yourself to this specialist NHS clinic for problem gamblers.
See if you meet the criteria for this service.
Gordon Moody Association The Gordon Moody Association offers residential courses for men and women who have problems with gambling – email help@gordonmoody.org.uk or call 01384 241292 to find out more.
It also runs the Gambling Therapy website, which offers online support to problem gamblers and their friends and family.
Gamblers Anonymous UKGamblers Anonymous UK runs local support groups that use the same 12-step approach to recovery from addiction as Alcoholics Anonymous. There are also GamAnon support groups for friends and family.
Self-help tips for problem gamblers
Do:
- pay important bills, such as your mortgage, on payday before you gamble
- spend more time with family and friends who don't gamble
- deal with your debts rather than ignoring them – visit the National Debtline for tips
Don't:
- view gambling as a way to make money – try to see it as entertainment instead
- bottle up your worries about your gambling – talk to someone
- take credit cards with you when you go gambling
For more self-help tips, see the Royal College of Psychiatrists website.
If you're affected by someone's gambling
If you're having problems because of another person's gambling, it's best to be honest with them about it. They need to know how their behaviour is affecting you.
Support is also available to people who are worried about someone else's gambling:
GamCare Gamcare offers support and information for partners, friends and family of people who gamble compulsively.
GamAnon
Local support groups for anyone affected by someone else's gambling problem – find your nearest group.
Real stories of recovery from gambling
Tell your own story and post messages of support in the GamCare recovery diaries forum.
Page last reviewed: 31 December 2017
Next review due: 31 December 2020
Gambling is often described as ‘the hidden addiction'. Unlike substance misuse or sex addiction, it can be much easier to hide the signs of problem gambling from other people. This is particularly true now online gambling is so widely accessible and popular.
But the effects of gambling addiction on a relationship can be devastating. It can destroy the sense of trust between partners often as a consequence of the secrecy or lies surrounding the addiction as much as the addiction itself. It can also ruin families financially.
Wife Has Gambling Problem And Needs Money
It's estimated there are around 450,000 problems gamblers in the UK. And anecdotal evidence suggests that every problem gambler impacts 5 to 12 other people.
What are the signs your partner is a gambler?
Many people whose partners have gambling addictions often report initially thinking their partner was having an affair as the signs are so similar. They include:
- Spending lots of time away. Do they often spend a lot of time away from the house and are vague about why? Some problem gamblers also get up very early in order to play before their partner or family are awake.
- Secretive around finances. Does your partner become cagey or defensive on the topic of money? Have they taken steps to conceal bank statements?
- Money going out of account without explanation. Obviously, it's not always possible to hide it if you are spending large amounts of cash. Have you noticed unexplained deductions from your accounts?
- Secretive around internet use. Most gambling addictions are carried out online. Does your partner habitually delete their internet history or are they vague and evasive if questioned on their use of the internet?
- Emotional highs and lows. Do they seem extremely excitable and positive some times but then very low, upset or even angry with others?
- A change in behavior over time. You may feel like your partner's behavior has changed gradually — getting more and more difficult or secretive in increments. This is usually how addictions begin: with things starting off more subtly, before spinning further out of control.
How does gambling affect relationships?
I Think My Wife Has A Gambling Problem
- Do you bet more than you can afford to lose?
- Do you need to gamble with larger amounts of money to get the same feeling?
- Have you tried to win back money you have lost (chasing losses)?
- Have you borrowed money or sold anything to get money to gamble?
- Have you wondered whether you have a problem with gambling?
- Has your gambling caused you any health problems, including feelings of stress or anxiety?
- Have other people criticised your betting or told you that you had a gambling problem (regardless of whether or not you thought it was true)?
- Has your gambling caused any financial problems for you or your household?
- Have you ever felt guilty about the way you gamble or what happens when you gamble?
Score 0 for each time you answer 'never'
Score 1 for each time you answer 'sometimes'
Score 2 for each time you answer 'most of the time'
Score 3 for each time you answer 'almost always'
If your total score is 8 or higher, you may be a problem gambler.
Help for problem gamblers
There's evidence that gambling can be successfully treated in the same way as other addictions. Cognitive behavioural therapy usually has the best results.
Treatment and support groups are available for people who want to stop gambling:
GamCareGamCare offers free information, support and counselling for problem gamblers in the UK.
It runs the National Gambling Helpline (0808 8020 133) and also offers face-to-face counselling.
National Problem Gambling Clinic If you live in England or Wales, are aged 13 or over and have complex problems related to gambling, you can refer yourself to this specialist NHS clinic for problem gamblers.
See if you meet the criteria for this service.
Gordon Moody Association The Gordon Moody Association offers residential courses for men and women who have problems with gambling – email help@gordonmoody.org.uk or call 01384 241292 to find out more.
It also runs the Gambling Therapy website, which offers online support to problem gamblers and their friends and family.
Gamblers Anonymous UKGamblers Anonymous UK runs local support groups that use the same 12-step approach to recovery from addiction as Alcoholics Anonymous. There are also GamAnon support groups for friends and family.
Self-help tips for problem gamblers
Do:
- pay important bills, such as your mortgage, on payday before you gamble
- spend more time with family and friends who don't gamble
- deal with your debts rather than ignoring them – visit the National Debtline for tips
Don't:
- view gambling as a way to make money – try to see it as entertainment instead
- bottle up your worries about your gambling – talk to someone
- take credit cards with you when you go gambling
For more self-help tips, see the Royal College of Psychiatrists website.
If you're affected by someone's gambling
If you're having problems because of another person's gambling, it's best to be honest with them about it. They need to know how their behaviour is affecting you.
Support is also available to people who are worried about someone else's gambling:
GamCare Gamcare offers support and information for partners, friends and family of people who gamble compulsively.
GamAnon
Local support groups for anyone affected by someone else's gambling problem – find your nearest group.
Real stories of recovery from gambling
Tell your own story and post messages of support in the GamCare recovery diaries forum.
Page last reviewed: 31 December 2017
Next review due: 31 December 2020
Gambling is often described as ‘the hidden addiction'. Unlike substance misuse or sex addiction, it can be much easier to hide the signs of problem gambling from other people. This is particularly true now online gambling is so widely accessible and popular.
But the effects of gambling addiction on a relationship can be devastating. It can destroy the sense of trust between partners often as a consequence of the secrecy or lies surrounding the addiction as much as the addiction itself. It can also ruin families financially.
Wife Has Gambling Problem And Needs Money
It's estimated there are around 450,000 problems gamblers in the UK. And anecdotal evidence suggests that every problem gambler impacts 5 to 12 other people.
What are the signs your partner is a gambler?
Many people whose partners have gambling addictions often report initially thinking their partner was having an affair as the signs are so similar. They include:
- Spending lots of time away. Do they often spend a lot of time away from the house and are vague about why? Some problem gamblers also get up very early in order to play before their partner or family are awake.
- Secretive around finances. Does your partner become cagey or defensive on the topic of money? Have they taken steps to conceal bank statements?
- Money going out of account without explanation. Obviously, it's not always possible to hide it if you are spending large amounts of cash. Have you noticed unexplained deductions from your accounts?
- Secretive around internet use. Most gambling addictions are carried out online. Does your partner habitually delete their internet history or are they vague and evasive if questioned on their use of the internet?
- Emotional highs and lows. Do they seem extremely excitable and positive some times but then very low, upset or even angry with others?
- A change in behavior over time. You may feel like your partner's behavior has changed gradually — getting more and more difficult or secretive in increments. This is usually how addictions begin: with things starting off more subtly, before spinning further out of control.
How does gambling affect relationships?
I Think My Wife Has A Gambling Problem
On a number of levels:
- The emotional impact. Very often, the partner of someone with a gambling addiction will feel betrayed upon finding out. There can often be a sense of feeling like they ‘aren't enough' to keep their partner happy. They might feel ashamed or even just simply hurt.
- Trust. This is one of the biggest factors. Most addictions involve some form of lying or concealment at one point. Many partners struggle to understand how their partner could have kept this from them, especially if it's been going on for a long time. Trust can take a long time to rebuild after the revelation of an addiction like this.
- Financial. On a practical level, gambling addiction can decimate joint or family finances. It's not uncommon for a problem gambler to dive into savings or take out multiple credit cards. This can leave the family with no other money for their basic needs, including household bills or mortgage payments. It also often means that peripheral things, such as holidays or new clothes for children, become unaffordable.
- Time. Something often forgotten about addictions is just how much time they take up. Gambling addiction can mean a person is away from their partner or family for long stretches of it — weakening their connection and making it that much harder to recover from the damage done.
What can you do?
Wife Has A Gambling Problem
The first thing to do if you think your partner is a problem gambler is to seek help.
Wife Has Gambling Problem
GamCare has a helpline (0808 8020 133) that's open seven days a week. They can provide you with advice on what your next steps could be. They can also help you think about whether your partner has a problem — you don't need to be certain to give them a call. Their trained advisors can give both information and in the moment emotional support to help you feel calmer.
They've also got an equivalent online service called Netline, which allows you to exchange instant messages with an advisor, and online forums, where people who've been affected by problem gambling talk and support each other.
How we can help
If your relationship has been affected by your partner's gambling, then we'd strongly recommend coming in for face-to-face counselling.
There may be a fair amount to unpack following something like this. This is not only in terms of the damage it may have done to your relationship or family, but in understanding and coming to terms with the circumstances that lead to the addiction in the first place. Often it takes going back to before the addiction even started to begin to understand why it happened.
Many partners blame themselves for the addiction – believing that if they'd been a better husband or wife, this never would have happened but things are rarely as simple as that. Sometimes figuring things out and getting them in perspective can be much easier if you've got a little help.
